Sunday, 5 August 2007

the trouble with sex dreams

Last night I had the unusual pleasure of a dream that involved sexual contact. That was the first of two dreams, in any case. This is generally speaking rather innocuous, but there are a few curious points.

The first of these - not in importance, by any measure - is the location. This particular dream took place in the exposed laundry corridor of our 25th floor apartment in Sri Lanka. Except that it was backwards. And by exposed, I mean... well, it was a bit like a balcony, but not extending over the side of the building. There was just a big hole in the wall and a railing. But as I say, this dream took place on the opposite side of the building in an area slightly smaller. But there was someone doing laundry or something nearby. That was a tad distracting.

Then there's the absolute unreality of the weather. I'm not sure if you've ever been in a wind tunnel 75m up but it tends to be pretty chilly. And it was grey skies outside, so it can't have been a nice warm day, it must've been either cold or (more likely in Sri Lanka) hot and humid. You hardly want to be naked in a hot and humid wind tunnel with somebody else standing around. And tile floors and all sorts of just not attractive things. Stupid dreamscape ruining my fantasy (not, and I should make this clear, that it was a fantasy).

But none of that is really problematic. Because none of it has any impact in the dream itself; it's not cold and uncomfortable. Physics never seems to intervene in these circumstances. There's a bit of an objection once one awakes, some sort of "I can't even pretend that was real" which is disappointing. You can't even wish for something that unreal.

Still not getting to the real problem. The real problem I face is that these dreams, when I (rarely) have them, tend to be about close friends. That's just not cool. Well, I personally don't mind, but I'm sure they wouldn't be happy. Or maybe they would; I never claimed to understand girls. In fact, they almost certainly would; there's that whole want to be wanted thing (more accurate but less aesthetic is describing it as the need to be desired). Still, it's not something you discuss. It's not something you'd ever say. It's not going to be awkward next time we talk. I'm not even going to be thinking of it. But there's this nagging little... well, when one thinks to it, there's a whole "wow, so in my dream..."

I want to describe a few more details about the dream itself but ... that would be inappropriate.

Last night I watched SBS until 1:20am so one might think that would explain it. In fact I was watching SOS and the one that stuck in my mind was documentary about an eleven-year-old gender dysphoric boy (Guido/Nina). I quite liked that actually, and I really felt for him. Like, empathetically. Not that I claim to be gender dysphoric... but I'm gender-curious (tongue firmly in cheek there). I quite feel for the GLBTIQ-set in general, in fact.

I should also note, by reference to my last post that this dream was not violent or anything of that nature. It was all in the name of love. Which still sounds like it could have been rape for love but no, it wasn't. It was consensual and couldn't have constituted rape in Tasmania even if there wasn't consent. There's a bit of detail for those who know the law. Damnit, in trying to express how it was all very happy and nice and stuff I keep subtly implying that it was nonconsensual or close. It wasn't.

I'm just going to stop.

3 comments:

mjec said...

Having spoken to her... well, I'd actually forgotten this by the time I did. This wasn't in issue. But speaking to her was, as always, an enjoyable experience.

There was a point, but I've forgotten it. It's WAY too late at night/early in the morning.

! said...

is the hats they wear. Did you read that book when you were a kid http://www.amazon.co.uk/Trouble-Mum-Mini-Book/dp/1405211210 ???

Aaaanyway. I blogged, be happy. And I so so so so want to know who mystery girl is.

Anonymous said...

I hate those dreams. Not during, but after. It's never the person it should be.