Saturday, 30 January 2010

debaclé

I was meant to go out this afternoon to a picnic. I had been wavering but had said emphatically yesterday (when invited) that I would go. Today I wavered. Then I informed the inviter I wouldn't go. The inviter got angry, I said I would go but would be late. I was told I was a cunt and unwanted.

I had managed to do fairly well at not pissing off the inviter in the past. Now that I have I fear a grudge will be held; 'tis their style.

But you know what? I didn't do it to piss them off. I didn't do it because I don't like them. I did it because I am not in a fit state to go out. I did it because I don't want to leave the house today. And I didn't think it was that important. When I was informed it was important I said I would go because had I known that I would've. Were this a party organised long in advance, an awards ceremony, a wedding -- something obviously key -- I would've participated. This was a picnic in a friend's back garden organised last night because it looked to be a nice day today. Reneging at the last minute is not a nice thing to do but it's not unforgivable.

I have a feeling I won't be forgiven. I have a feeling I hurt the inviter and that hurts me. It wasn't my intention -- though what is it they say about the road to hell?

Fuck.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Still reading. You know, it's not so bad outside the house. The best way to get used to the water is to dive right in.

angie said...

Also still reading. And now worrying that I hurt people when I pike last-minute. Which I do a lot. Dang.

Anonymous said...

3 people still reading!

Anonymous said...

Make that 4!