Tuesday 10 April 2007

sine sententia

I have been thinking recently about things I find attractive in a girl. By recently I mean over the past five or so minutes. I've come up with something interesting. I like girls who I can teach.

This means several things. Firstly it means they must be smart and interested. Passionately curious, as Einstein would have said. They're allowed to roll their eyes when I start talking mathematics gibberish but they listen anyway because a bit of extra knowledge is good. I don't want to dominate, and I don't want them to be stupid or ignorant, I just want to be able to participate in a conversation and impart some knowledge or understanding. This is pretty much the prime requirement; the others are all about capacity (i.e. no absurd age difference, must be single, must be straight or bisexual etc) or preference (i.e. smarter is better).

This is dangerous for a few reasons. It means my ego is one of the most important things to me and must be massaged at all times. It means I desire a relationship on an unequal intellectual or regarding-knowledge footing and this can only be because I want to see myself as better than the other party. None of this is good, but it's not the really bad. The really bad is that this probably means I'll like more than my peers my subordinates. Delegates at conferences where I'm a facilitator. Students where I'm a teacher. Trainees where I'm a coach. This is getting close to paedophilia and it worries me greatly.

No comments: