my mind haunts me

Ok, here's what I don't get.

I finally went to bed, I read for while, got up and watched two episodes of Daria, then went to bed again. I read a little bit more, went to sleep. I was pretty certainly depressed.

So would somebody please find the source for the following dream.

I was with a whole bunch of people and we were watching the Boston Pops Orchestra. I have never seen the Orchestra, but it's fairly clear that's who we were watching. We were moved from the stalls to the gallery (along with everyone else) for no apparent reason. For equally no reason, the gallery closely resembled the public gallery of Committee Room 1 at Australian Parliament House. I sat next to a girl we've seen before. We giggled together, started holding hands... you can see where this is going. In this instance to sex by everyone's definition (except Bill Clinton's). Which still doesn't necessarily imply the right thing. Probably reverse what you're thinking. And if you weren't around to know the details of the Clinton impeachment then you're too young to know what I'm saying anyway! Why, back when I was your age, Pluto was a planet! Of course, if you're smart enough to check Wikipedia and read about an interesting time in US political history then you can know. But you have to learn before you know. I'm like an incentivising teacher.

Anyway, there are a few interesting questions. The first is why I had a dream pertaining to sex at all. No consideration of it had taken place recently, no discussion, nothing on TV. I don't think I'd even emptied my spam folder. The second question is why her? I mean, don't get me wrong, she's someone with whom I would, if provided an opportunity, undertake these activities, but I lack any current obsession, even with her. Regardless, I never have these dreams about people with whom I'm obsessed. As anonymous said, they're always with the wrong person. Except they're not, because I would never say she were the wrong person. It's just very strange. And two such dreams without an intervening similarly-themed dream about another? Perhaps it's just that whenever I dream of her it always leads to this. Again an absurdity, but with a sample size of two it's very difficult to know. I'm really quite confused.

Two untriggered sex dreams about the same person, two weeks apart. This must be love, right?

60 mm

I saw an ad last night while watching Drop Dead Gorgeous (I don't normally like mockumentaries but I laughed during that one) which was from the Cancer Council of Victoria. They noted that the risk of cancer is doubled with a waist of more than 100cm in men. Doubled relative to what? What sort of cancers? Is this correlation or causality? These are all legitimate questions.

I measured myself this morning. 106cm.

Now I will lose weight.

my life

Hockey Tasmania is a fairly large organisation. They are pretty important - they had the Premier open their new gagillion dollar stadium just yesterday. Sure, they're not quite as big as the YMCA, who also hired me to do a website, on whom I also defaulted, but they're fairly big. I woke up this morning and decided to get this website done. It would only take a day of dedicated work.

I've been up for two hours now. I have the Powderfinger song Baby I've Got You On My Mind stuck in my head. I also kind of have a person on my mind, but that's not the thing.

I've spent this morning updating secrets.blue.org.au and looking at ljsecret because the new PostSecrets aren't up yet.

All this does is depress me. That's not true. It depresses me and makes me yearn, desire, want, need something more. All those things that I don't have.

I've got one. A secret. It's on my blue site, somewhere. First one to find it doesn't really learn anything. This one broke my heart.

There are 371 secrets currently archived. 24mb-odd.

normally distributed?

I won poker again this evening. Only $25 winnings, but there was the initial bet plus the cash game plus petrol, so I'm only up about $6 on the evening. Even so, that's pretty good - to be paid $6 for a night out with friends.

Now, on a completely different note, I was wondering this evening, what do you think it's like to defecate as a horse? Or indeed any of those quadrupeds who defecate while walking. Because it's a different shape, I imagine a different texture, different muscle use. I wonder how it would feel, and how different to defecating as a human.

I wonder all sorts of things. Like about when women begin relationships relative to their position in the menstrual cycle. And any correlation that would have with hormone levels, age, personality type, IQ, EQ, socio-economic status and anything else that one can measure. You'd do a whole analysis measuring proportion of relationships from all relationships started in the past five years. You might also look at longevity, what constitutes the "start" of a relationship, whether there's any time correlation with first kisses or anything else. I think that could be really interesting. You could make similar comparisons with men but you couldn't use position in menstrual cycle. You could use hormone levels though.

I'm particularly curios to see if there's a difference as age increases, and also a generational difference - i.e., measuring seventeen year olds this year, how do they compare to seventeen year olds in ten years time? How as twenty-seven-year-olds will they compare to themselves at seventeen and how about contemporary seventeen year olds? All these fascinating questions. You might also look at drug use as an independent variable. Another possible dependant variable might be loss of virginity. You might consider promiscuity (or relative promiscuity) as an independent variable. There are all sorts of interesting questions. All I need is a psychology PhD and a research grant...