yet another boring blog (yabb)

I'm watching the movie form of the sisterhood of the travelling pants. I don't know why I do this to myself. I guess... well, let's look at this. I have a few movies on my computer I haven't seen yet (the sisterhood being one which I'm currently seeing). They are:

- A Walk To Remember
- House of Flying Daggers
- Pride and Prejudice
- The Notebook
- Wallace and Gromit - Curse of the Ware Rabbit

There's also Magnolia, which I haven't seen in a long time. Then there are the movies I watched last night: A Fish Called Wanda, How To Lose A Guy In Ten Days and The Girl Next Door.

But I'm not here to talk about all the movies I have, or those which I want to watch. This is about why I do this to myself.

Ok, firstly, this movie is not just a chick flick, it's a mid-teen sappy chick flick. Like, we're talking uberdespicablepop tween trash. Which isn't to say it's a bad movie - at 39'14" I'm unwilling to make that judgement. I mean, it's embarrassing. I feel shame (even without another, so fuck you Satre) that I'm watching this.

But that's not the real problem. That's not why I shouldn't be watching this. I shouldn't be watching this because it almost made me cry in the first few scenes. I shouldn't be watching this because it's all about precisely the life that I keep being certain I've totally missed. I shouldn't watch this because it reinforces the mood which made me watch it in the first place - and that mood is best described as borderline depressed.

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I got a call from an old friend of mine tonight. The company he started and is running is paying for him and eight employees under him, also mostly old friends, to spend six days at the Melbourne International Comedy Festival. Flights, alcohol, hotels, shows all paid. Good quality, five-star hotels too. I could have been working there. But instead I chose to come back here and go to university. Sometimes I wonder about why I made such a bad decision. Maybe it wasn't horrible, generally... but I should've stayed. Life would have been better eventually, I'm sure. Perhaps. Uncertainty haunts me still.

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