Sunday, 1 July 2007

something completely different

The topic of this post is light bondage. Like, the sexual practice. It comes up because the bed I'm on has a metal frame which, it has occurred to me, could be used for handcuffing quite easily.

You're totally freaked out right now, you're like running for the door.

Let me explain.

I'm not into that stuff. But I understand it. I think it can be healthy. I am not aroused by the thought of handcuffs and all that stuff but... well, let me explain. I hold the belief - popular with some, unpopular with others - that sex is a "special" thing - a bond between to people. An expression of a feeling (this is traditionally called love but can, unlike the feeling most people associate with love, be transient; having sex with someone should involve, I feel, a strong attachment to them. This can fade but at the time it was still love). And this is where light bondage is relevant. Because it is about trust. Some people just get the arousal stuff from it, but that's not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about the submissive side. In that position you are placing an absolute trust with another person. You are giving them complete and irrevocable control of your body. In one such scenario you're actually being chained up and the other person could do anything - anything - to you. That is true trust. And that's why most people aren't comfortable with it - because they don't get the arousal and they don't really truly trust their partner that much. To do so is pretty fucking hard. There aren't many - if any - people I would trust that much. Certainly those that come to mind for immediate consideration are part of my family.

I'm not sure what the point of this was. I just wanted to ramble about a fetish for a while. Next week, feet! I'm kidding, that's one I just don't get. Like, I don't mind feet, but there's nothing sexy there. Then again, I don't necessarily see being tied up as sexy, it's just... trusting. And that's why it's cool. I get that you'd want to show how much you trust someone. You'd let them do anything because you know they love you.

On a totally, totally unrelated point, once again Annabel's blog has said something I've often thought: "if i died it wouldn't matter, because i wouldn't really be dead". I tend to think like life is a computer game and I can just go back to a save point. Not all the time, but often enough to be worried by that. It's like I'm playing Deus Ex and I've only used quicksave, so I've only got one save point. And that was ages ago - like six missions - and I'm not sure I'm on the right track. I think I can make it through the game from my *current* position but I had more opportunities previously and I don't know that I've made the right decision. So just in case I want to keep the old save. And only when I get somewhere I know I want to be will I save again. Except that in life it's really hard to die so I just keep playing.

I think this post is perhaps the best demonstration yet that my mind is fucked up.


Anonymous said...

but while many couples are into that kind of stuff, the problem is that they never trust each other with anything else.

Anonymous said...

your mind is fucked up? i don't think so.
maybe you just say things other people are too scared to.

Anonymous said...

Mm, not entirely true. As the first anon. said, many couples are into it, but don't trust each other with other stuff. I would have trusted my ex with that, but not with her loyalty.