rethink think

It occurred to me, not three minutes ago, that I really need to rethink the current state of my friendships. My closest friends either live in Melbourne or are substantially younger than me. I'm not "just 19", I'm nearly twenty! And yet I've seen the planning of TWO eighteenth parties recently. I'm not a part of those social groups, but I am a person who has friends within them. The issue is, of course, that these are my only friends, effectively. I have more distant friends, but my close friends are either not geographically close or not chronologically close.

I need to meet some people at uni. Law people. Maths people. Just not engineering people (pardoning the stabs at various readers; it's unintentional, it's just that I wouldn't fit in with an engineering group). But I seriously need to do something about my lack of friends, and fast.

The other possibility, of course, is that friends as I've dreamt of and read of and seen on TV, friends who I've made mostly through MSN, don't exist, and that I should cope with distant friendships, or cultivate them into friends who are distant but I see often. Shitty idea.

And I don't mean to exclude my friends who aren't in Melbourne blah blah, just noting a trend in my life. Damn you Melbournites. I just wish I was one of you.

Oh, that's what yesterday's song was. There's more bounce in California. And it raised the point with me that I'm never going to leave Tasmania because as much as I'd love to there are always things tying me here and I'd be afraid to go somewhere else, somewhere different and new. Damnit. What if I want to move to California? I probably don't, although Los Angeles would be nice. How about New York, or Washington DC? Melbourne? London? Barcelona? But I'll never go anywhere, because it's safe here and there's probably money and certainly commitments and no reason to move. But god damnit I want to.